Glenna Stearman Park, Down-sizing? Retirement? Not for Me.

Glenna Stearman Park, 2010

Downsizing and retirement seem to go hand in hand, as we all approach our 80’s.  Abruptly, the instinct to build our nests and acquire things is suddenly thrown into reverse as retirement and downsizing become the major focus.  As we approach our 80’s, we start thinking about how to get rid of our possessions.  Our children are in the cheering section because otherwise they will have to do the dissolution of property.  My boys have assured me that they will just come through the house with a flame-thrower!

Retirement is not the first time many of us have had to dissolve a household.  When our parents die or move into assisted living, we have property to remove or clear.  When my parents-in-law died, we hired a company that came in, held a sale, and cleared the house.  We were encouraged to leave items of value that could be sold individually.  We took important family furniture, dishes, art work and books.  Of everything in the house, the books were the biggest problem.  The day after the sale, most if not all were in a dumpster.  The financial benefit of that sale was nil.  A few years later we stripped my parent’s place and had a very minimal return on a general property sale.   When moving one time, I tried a furniture sale, gave up from boredom at noon and gave it all away.  No more sales in my lifetime!

The collection of household goods is a god-send for an abrupt change in living.  Couples divorcing need to furnish a second household, often on short notice.  Shelters often need household goods.  Currently in the US, agencies are looking for people to donate to Syrian, Afghan, Ukrainian and other refugees escaping to this country.  These people arrive with the clothes on their backs and appreciate gifts of clothing and household goods. 

In sporadic efforts to “unload,” I started asking each of my three boys to remove their special toys and collections left behind at our house.  They usually had a good reason they “could not take things this trip,” but wanted me to save their belongings.  A few years ago I selected items from their rooms, boxed and wrapped them as special Christmas packages with beautiful bows on top.  I selected a javelina skull that one boy brought home from hiking around in empty fields in south Texas.  It had been on a book shelf in his bedroom for several years.  He said that when he opened his gift, he had a great time talking about the skeleton with his children.  Now it is in a book case in his house.  From another son’s bedroom I carefully wrapped many lead D&D characters which he had carefully painted.  Wrapped for Christmas, his gift was happily received and attracted the attention of one of his sons who also played D&D and collected the lead figures.

As I approach my 80th year and the idea that I need to “downsize,” I have decided that I am not going to disrupt my life by “thinking small.” If anything, I need a bigger place.  After unloading a lot of things in 1995, when we moved from San Antonio to South Korea, I boxed most things and rented a storage unit. We then drove a U-Haul truck to Connecticut, Boston, and Providence, unloading extra furniture and Joel’s Porsche.  Two years later, we made the return trip, dragging everything to a warehouse in Memphis, Tennessee.  We had a 5,000 sq. foot place full of 500 boxes and some furniture.  Joel was with the Navy as a submarine model tester at the world’s largest water tunnel on the Mississippi River.  I unpacked boxes and got used to living in a warehouse with my new little dog, Betty Boop.   Once again, I was buying things like kitchen appliances, washing machine and dryer.  As I packed things into the warehouse, I thought about being a minimalist…only briefly. 

I feel the pressure of approaching 80 like I am waiting to die.  I feel pressured to have a “game plan” like getting rid of furniture and moving to a smaller home.  What I would like is to move to a larger place and not think about where the furniture will go.  I do not want to move into assisted living when I could live with family and pay for maids or other help. I own a few items that need a secure resting place beyond my tenure, but not a lot.  I do feel like I have lots of art to make and it feels disrupted by the “what if” part of my life.  Besides, I am only going to be 80 this year, and I have plans that will keep me busy to 100!

As part of considering a decision, I consulted several classmates and read about the subject.

Recommended Reading 

1. The Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, 83 1/4 Years Old.    This is a humorous journal of daily life in a senior-living facility. 
2. The Little Old Lady Behaving Badly  by Catharina Ingelman Sundberg.  This is an adventure about  five elders who stage major robberies to fund their benevolent projects for underpaid workers, like nurses, and pleasure for seniors living on small pensions. It is a naughty and highly entertaining alternative to going quietly into the sunset of life.

I read both books when I decided to write about downsizing. Then I got tired and changed my mind about getting rid of my things. My boys can ply their flamethrower when the time comes.

At left is a Picasso portrait of a woman. I feel like that is a good portrait of how I have composed myself. All my bits are strung back together—in a somewhat useable configuration.  

Meanwhile, there is art to make.  The flower studies with scribble drawing below are one of the ways I deal with my life – the flowers from my garden, the scribbles from my moods.