Zooming with the Aces #6, June 16, 2022: Grandchildren

Fred Elder convened members of our class for a discussion about grandchildren and how their lives differ from ours at the same age. Linda Soderberg McKay, a highly-qualified grandmother of 15, moderated the discussion.

Zoom #6 Participants

Row 1: Glenna Stearman Park, Fred Elder, Linda Soderberg McKay. Row 2: David Robinson, Skip Granger . Lee Ayres. Row 3: Diane Zinn, Nancy Ballard Collaran, Dan Tontz, Row 4: Charlie Briscoe. Not pictured: Jane Thompson Olson, who was with us briefly.

Following is a summary not a transcript of Zoom #6. Please let us know if we we need to correct any goofs we made in summarizing what you contributed.

As usual, new participants were invited to summarize their past 62 years in 1-2 minutes.

Nancy Ballard Collaran: After high school, she headed first to K-State and then to KU where she earned a degree in Nursing.  She worked as a nurse in Kansas City and then taught nursing classes. Looking to live as far from Kansas as possible, she moved to Seattle and earned a Masters in Nursing at the University of Washington. There, she met her husband Bennie, a Washington native, with whom she had three daughters, the last one at age 41. Her health has had ups and downs, and included six months in rehab when she was in her 60’s. When her husband retired, they moved from Salem, Oregon, back to Yakima, WA, east of the Cascade Mountains, where they live now. Nancy loves the four seasons and living in Yakima. Friends on the call were very happy to see Nancy.

Linda Soderberg McKay asked participants to comment on how the lives of our grandchildren today are different than ours at their age. Linda’s first topic was technology. Her grandsons take their laptops and fly anywhere in the world and work from there. She recalled once trying to work from home and being told it was not allowed.

Grandkids’ Clothes, Friends, and Travel

Skip Granger remembered moving to Wichita when he was 12 and thought he had a good life there. His father was a department store manager at Innes, so they had 40% off on all their clothes from Innes, were provided with a country club membership where they could show off the clothes, and lived by College Hill Park. It was a good life. He and Mary Ann took their family to Europe in the summers, which was special for them all. His granddaughters, ages 10 and 12, have a much more upscale lifestyle than he did. One granddaughter asked to see the play “Wicked” for her birthday, so the family flew off to New York to see the play and the city. Skip surmised that if he had asked his parents for a trip to New York, they would have told him to go earn some money and get himself there. He also recalled that he was in law school before he crossed the Mississippi River. His kids travel much more freely.

Linda Soderberg McKay observed that for young people today, traveling is like breathing air.  Her grandchildren go to destination weddings in far away places. At least wedding presents are not expected if such travel is required. She has noticed few kids these days seem to get married in a church. Many are not getting married in their 20’s, rather waiting until their 30’s. That’s a big difference.

Diane Rusch Zinn has spent this week in New England with all seven of her grandkids (ages 13-26). A big difference today, these kids hardly ever dated in high school, just had a lot of fun with good buddies. Another difference, how they dress, bothers her a lot – the tattered clothing,  crazy hairdos, and especially the short dresses her granddaughters wear.  They are beautiful girls with long, beautiful legs, but those skirts make her feel like an old fogey. She notes that her granddaughter Olivia, who just graduated from high school and is off to Colorado U in the fall seems to have many, many close friends and pictures of them all on her phone. Diane doesn’t think she has any high school photos except from prom. “In our day telephones were in the middle of the house and everyone knew to whom you were talking.” Social media allows kids to communicate with many more friends. Olivia was using photos to make a wonderful gift for her best friend, commemorating their high school experiences. Also, both boys and girls have many more opportunities in athletics. Several classmates chimed in with “thanks to Title 9.”

Linda Soderberg McKay commented that last November  her granddaughters came as usual to help her decorate the Christmas tree. They were talking about their weddings, when she reminded them that they would have to date if they were ever going to get married.  At 25, 26, 30, they did not date in high school or in college. She made a deal with them: if they get to age 31 without dating, they will let Grandma pay for membership on a dating website.

Glenna Stearman Park has also noticed that her grandkids seem to have large groups of friends with whom they keep in touch through Snapchat and other social media.

Linda Soderberg McKay agreed about social media and contacts with many friends, but also pointed out another change related to girls and clothing. Her granddaughters rent clothes, including from businesses that have monthly memberships that allow them to rent clothes month by month by ordering online.

Skip Granger remembered that he didn’t have to buy prom dresses for his daughter because she was a runner-up for Miss Marin County and was permitted use the pageant dresses. 

Glenna Stearman Park explained that she has 10 grandchildren, one great grandchild, plus four significant others. They don’t live the way we lived and regard Grandma’s sense of what is appropriate as laughable. Glenna said she had a wonderful time at Christmas this year.  She bought 45 banned books and gave them to grandchildren; she even found a banned book for the eight-year-old. She told them that banned books are the basis of a good library and advised them to always read what’s not allowed. She was surprised to find that some of the children had already read the banned books she gave them. She bought one of her sons the controversial book on the 1619 project. Glenna herself is now reading books that she has missed along the way.

Basically, her boys grew up while she and Joel were in graduate school. They all studied together, including the boys, who went to good colleges and have solid careers. Danny works as her caregiver, seeing her through heart attacks, cancer, and arthritis. Danny and Joel keep her going. They live in Maryland, but are now in Rhode Island vacationing at the home where there are seven grandchildren. The oldest is 32, now in law school in DC; a girl who is 30; a boy working in Boston; and more in college, high school and middle school. The youngest is now six feet tall and going into high school. She is having a lovely New England time.

Skip Granger is looking forward to his birthday on June 30. He is having his birthday in Las Vegas and will take the family to a magic show.  Granddaughters Zoe and Hannah will enjoy it. He is trying to improve his walking in preparation for his birthday celebration. Skip really enjoys his sweet little granddaughters.  The family is all musical and he was able to to watch Hannah sing last week. Using his magician’s skills, he always found coins in their ears. One year, he taught the girls how to palm; they no longer ask him to check their ears.

Kids and Their Technology Skills

Dan Tontz has no grandchildren, but enjoys his lovely niece and nephew. He notices the heavy influence of the cell phones in their lives. Their advanced technology skills can be irritating. When they are helping you with something, they tend to play around. Knowledge is power. Dan feels he is a trained Zoom person now.

Glenna commented on children and their capacity for learning technology. One night she and Joel  came home to find the kids’ new Apple 2 in pieces on the kitchen table. One of her boys explained that a part had needed soldering. She asked if he knew what he was doing. He said he did and then put the thing back together. He learned how to build computers in a special program at SMU and although he owns many computers, he has never purchased one.

Diane said that her grandson just finished a final paper on how to decrease the environmental impact of crypto-currency.  He also built his own computer.

Skip’s son Trey built Skip’s computer and provided two monitors so Skip can create and send out his Sigma Nu fraternity newsletter.

Grandchildren, Jobs, and Schooling

Diane Rusch Zinn has observed differences in the kinds of jobs our grandchildren have as teenagers. She worked as an elevator operator for a couple of years in the summer and also worked in her dad’s office in the Petroleum Building. Her husband Dick always did construction work in the summer. They speculate that most young persons don’t know which end of a shovel to use.

Linda Soderberg McKay added that many of her grandkids don’t get jobs at all. They do summer camps and travel, but don’t get jobs.  Her husband worked through his way through college, but her grandkids were not employed during college or in the summers. She thinks that school is much more demanding than it was for us. When she worked in DC, she visited a Kindergarten class, where she observed a picture of an animal on each table. Students were supposed to write a sentence about the animal. Four little boys were coloring while others who were already literate wrote sentences. Linda thinks that writing instruction is stronger than when we were in school.  Writing in cursive, however, not being taught at all in many schools.

Dan Tontz has noticed that students do their composing on keyboards, not with pencils and cursive.

Glenna noted that some schools have returned to teaching cursive. Among other reasons, a student who wants to do original research has to learn how to read cursive, because everyone wrote it. 

Linda concluded the discussion of jobs by remembering that she worked at the soda fountain at her father’s drugstore in downtown Wichita. The sodas were especially good and now almost impossible to find anywhere.

More Grandkids, Nieces, Nephews, and News

David Robinson, who also enjoys being an uncle, shifted the topic. He is still working on a story about the outstanding renewal occurring in downtown Wichita. He plans to take photos of the beautifully restored Innes building, which has been redeveloped as a college of Osteopathic medicine; the Henry’s building, now home to a WSU culinary school and two restaurants; and the blue-mirrored Russell Stover building which will reopen as a Marriott hotel. He plans to put those photos in a website story in the near future.  He recommends that classmates attending the reunion consider a walking tour of this area.

Talk of Innes Department story brought back memories of riding the escalators and eating in the Innes Tea Room and also Sunflower Room down in the basement. Skip Granger recalled that Olive Ann Beech had her driver bring her in once a month for an egg and olive sandwich.

Fred Elder noted a big difference from when he was younger. At that time, he thought he needed to work and he did work. His grandkids don’t. He is not sure they know what a shovel is. In the summers, they go to camps, work with tutors, and go to events. He has five grandchildren, three older ones in Chicago and two, ages three and seven, in Colorado.  He was happy to be asked to Chicago for Fathers Day. He gets to see them fairly often, which is good. As all of us would say, he added, these are the best grandkids that there are.

Charlie Briscoe joined us later in the session. He has two children and a total of seven grandkids. They are planning to meet soon in Siesta Keys, Florida, and “love on each other.” His grandson just got back from 10 months in Baghdad will join them. Charlie talked about the importance of scholarships for college. He always encouraged his grandkids to attend KU, which he continues to support even though he did not last long there as an undergraduate. He always gives KU t-shirts to grandkids. One of his grandsons recently graduated with academic honors and went to Alabama of all places due to the scholarship. Charlie now needs a Red Tide t-shirt.

Charlie and his wife lives in Roanoke VA, at bottom of the state.  He just celebrated his 48th year as announcer for the Virginia State High School Track Meets. He still takes care of pastoral responsibilities on request.

Asked if he would bring music to the reunion in the fall, Charlie responded that he thinks if we just get together, that will be enough. 

Lee Ayres has the good fortune of having eleven grandchildren, four in Orange county, four in Sacramento, and three in Colorado Springs. His second great grandchild is due on 6/22.  He noted that we grew up in a great time and a great place. “Horizons are huge in Kansas,” as Bob Dole used to say. This has also been a great time to have children and for grandchildren to grow up.   We grew up in time of wars and threats, as are children today, but there are huge opportunities for them. He is grateful that his grandkids have had opportunities, partly due to parents who work very hard, which can be a blessing and a curse. Seeing the grandkids takes doing and planning. Now that they are getting into college, however, they communicate more.

Linda Soderberg Mckay noted that during COVID, she has had over 20 Zoom sessions with her grandchildren. Somehow, they almost all showed up. At the first session, she introduced a quotation – “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” Her grandkids asked her for a quote at each session. She connected the quotations with history. For instance, the Great Depression and the Dust Bowl lasted 10 years, not 2 1/2. She asked where they get their news, as she worried about accuracy of what they hear and read.  Her grandchildren are all quite  opinionated, both liberal and conservative. They are also interested in  social issues and their communities. She feels very hopeful about the group that is coming along to take care of us as we get older.

She added that she had enjoyed being part of this Zoom session and thanked everyone for coming.

Fred and Diane concluded the session with thanks to Linda for moderating and by asking everyone to send stories – on any topic of interest to you – grandkids, what you are doing, why you are going to Wichita for the fall reunion or not, vacations, or whatever you would like to share. Also, please send along ideas you have for  in-person or virtual activities at the reunion.

Note change of date for July – Next month’s Zoom session will be on Tuesday, July 19. Same time: 2 p.m. in Wichita.