“The Villages” Dating Ads
You can say what you want about Florida, but you never hear of
anyone retirin
g and moving north.
Following are actual ads seen in ”The Villages” Florida newspaper.
Seniors’ sense of humor is on full display!
FOXY LADY
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty,
80’s, slim, 5’4′ (used to be 5’6′),
Searching for sharp-looking,
sharp-dressing companion.
Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
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LONG-TERM COMMITMENT
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband,
Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot.
Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath,
not a problem.
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SERENITY NOW
I am into solitude, long walks,
sunrises, the ocean, yoga,
and meditation.
If you are the silent type,
let’s get together, take our hearing aids
out and enjoy quiet times.
—————————————————-
WINNING SMILE
Active grandmother with original teeth
seeking a dedicated flosser
to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
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BEATLES OR STONES
I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro 
on Saturday nights
and still like to play the guitar.
If you were a groovy chick,
or are now a groovy hen,
let’s get together
and listen to my eight-track tapes.
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MEMORIES
I can usually remember
Monday through Thursday.
If you can remember
Friday, Saturday and Sunday,
let’s put our two heads together.
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MINT CONDITION
Male, 1932 model, high mileage,
good condition, some hair,
many new parts including
hip, knee, cornea, valves.
Isn’t in running condition,
but walks well.
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AND FINALLY
A lady in the Villages in Florida (a senior retirement community),
was sitting on a bench, near another
bench with a gentleman sitting on the bench.
She asked him if he was new to the community, and he said “No, I have owned a condo here for 20 years.” 
She then said, “I have been here for 15 years and
I have never seen you around!”
He then said “I have been in prison for the last 17 years.”
She was stunned and finally asked him what he had done.
He said that he had murdered his first wife!
She was stunned again and after a long pause she said.
So, you’re SINGLE???
Do not regret growing old, it is a privilege denied to many.
Editor’s Note: Many thanks to Glenna Stearman Park for sharing these laughs with us and to Diane Rusch Zinn for adding the clipart illustrations. Originally published here on 2/14/22.
