Class of 1960 Zoomers, 2/15/24
1st row, left to right: Marilyn Tompkins Bellert (Sycamore IL), Fred Elder (Madison WI), Dan Tontz (Dallas TX)
2nd row: Glenna Stearman Park (Montgomery Village MD), Lee Ayres (Fresno CA), Mary Lancaster Curtis (Stafford County KS)
3rd row: Diane Rusch Zinn (Lawrence KS), Skip Granger (Sun Lakes AZ), Rodney Pierce (Colorado Springs CA).
4th row: Linda Soderberg McKay (St. Louis MO)
Topics for the Day – Valentine Memories, Books, Movies
Following is a summary of our session, not a verbatim transcript. If your remarks need to be revised, please get in touch with Marilyn (mbellert@niu.edu) or Diane (ddzinn@aol.com).
Linda Soderberg McKay, St. Louis MO:
This year on Valentines Day, I had a completely new experience. One of my daughters called and told me to go immediately to the front door. She had ordered three flower arrangements from Whole Foods, cookies (strawberry, chocolate, and vanilla macaroons), and some tea. These were being delivered as we talked by Uber Eats. I looked out the door to see that my valentines had been literally thrown on the sidewalk. Kids certainly do things differently these days! This was a Valentines Day I will remember.
Diane Rusch Zinn, Lawrence, KS: Valentine’s Day means romance for some.
Dick was not a romantic for Valentine’s Day. However, he hit the mark for two of our wedding anniversaries. For our 20th, Dick booked a room at the Raphael Hotel on the Plaza and presented me with a string of pearls, along with a lovely dinner. For our 50th, he planned a trip to San Francisco, Stanford, and other memorable places in California, including visits with some special friends. Around our 60th, he made a special CD set with songs that represented the story of our marriage. One evening when I had some ladies for dinner and was playing the CD for them, Dick walked in and they all stood and cheered for him.
Skip Granger, Sun Lakes, AZ: My adult life has been about travel, food, wine, and family. This year my wife Mary Ann and I took a
Valentine’s Day trip to Sedona, Arizona. We drove home early so I could participate in this Zoom. Sedona was beautiful. I used to visit many restaurants because of my involvement with Starry Night Wines. I learned that Valentine’s Day is one day you DON’T want to go to a restaurant. That and Mother’s Day. Restaurants are always fully booked. This year I told a fib to get a reservation for last night at the Golden Goose in Sedona. I said this was our 50th wedding anniversary, and somehow, the hostess who had said, “No. Sorry. All booked up” came up with a table for us. Dinner was great as always.
Rodney Pierce, Colorado Springs, CO:
Every Valentine’s Day, I give my wife a nice bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. I buy them at Costco, my 7-11 store. (Rod’s wife appeared in the background, so he asked her how she liked the flowers and the chocolates.) She signaled her approval.
Glenna Stearman Park, Montgomery Park DC: I am always 
sad on Valentine’s Day because of Gary Byrd’s death in 1966. After I think about Gary and that day, I eat chocolates. I love reading. My latest favorite book is The Swedish Art of Aging Exuberantly. The most important thing I learned from this book is Don’t Look Back. Keep on going forward. Since we are all going to live to be 100, we need to keep moving forward on our plans. For the first time ever, I have started getting books on the computer and spend time every evening reading there. Recently, I have been reading a lot about World War II, especially Poland. Now I’m shifting away from wars. (Diane commented that she had enjoyed reading “Mennonite in a Little Black Dress,” which Glenna recommended during another Zoom discussion.) Restrictions on Mennonite clothing reminds me that my mother would not allow me to wear red shoes or carry a big purse, since those were popular with hookers. My mother knew this because she had seen them on Douglas. To her, every woman walking alone on Douglas was a hussy. As soon as I got away from home, I bought red shoes and a big purse. My younger sister Guyna made and sold rag dolls. The dolls were complete with boobs and pubic areas. Hussies!
Lee Ayres, Fresno, CA:
Back when we were willing to make long drives, our tradition was to drive to Coronado Island for Valentine’s Day. On Valentine’s Day, Coronado was not overrun by people from Texas, though it was difficult to get a decent dinner reservation. At other times of the year, Texans and other tourists came to Coronado to escape the weather at home, and it was impossible to get a reservation. The climate was moderate then, also. We always stayed in the Valencia Motel on Orange Avenue. We often attended a community-based theater there.
Editor’s note – Coronado Island is just off the coast at San Diego and is accessible by car.
Mary (Mert) Lancaster Curtis, St. John, KS: 
I had a fun day yesterday for Valentine’s Day. My friends and I had all gone to the boys and girls basketball games at St. John High School. One friend sent a text inviting us all to a Valentine’s Day lunch. This was very last minute, but more of us came than usual. We decided that at this point in our lives, we don’t have a lot to do on Valentine’s Day and were ready for an invitation.
Marilyn Tompkins Bellert, Sycamore, IL: I’ve been married to my current
husband, only #2, for seventeen years and he is very sentimental. I always get a lot of flowers and Valentines. This year I couldn’t reciprocate as usual. I’ve been stuck at home pretty much after recovering from a concussion in November and a hip replacement five weeks ago, so no cards from me. I did manage do a little cooking. This year, I discovered that there is an anti-Valentine movement that I never knew about. My local animal rescue center has an anti-Valentine’s Day program. I visited their website to make a donation in memory of a friend. The shelter offers a Valentine’s Day service. You provide them with a note to your “Ex,” and they place it in a litter box so the cats can pee on it. On request, they will then wrap the note in bubble wrap and mail it to the “Ex.” There are apparently lots of services that will do ugly things on Valentine’s Day.
Like most of you, I read a lot and also watch a lot of films. The book I’ve most enjoyed recently is The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store by James McBride. It’s set in the 30’s in a small industrial town in Pennsylvania and its about all the ethnic groups in the town – how they get along and how they don’t. It’s a great book and would make a great film. McBride has won several national awards. His dad was a Black man from the low country in South Carolina who came with all the traditions as part of the Great Migration. His mother was from a family who escaped the Holocaust. So, in the book, you encounter different groups of Blacks and many kinds of White folks in a White town in the North. Even the Jewish groups get into conflict over differences between religious orthodoxy and traditions that varied greatly from one European country to another. It’s a book with many lessons for our own time.
Dan Tontz, Dallas, TX: I have memories of guys giving valentines 
to girls. My mother fostered that, and she made sure that I always gave valentines to her and my sister. I remember the decorated shoe box and valentines for everybody in the class at Adams Elementary. There was always one guy in my class who didn’t like many people. He only gave valentines to certain people. The teacher was ready for this. She always had extra valentines and would make sure that all the girls got valentines from that guy. I don’t know what happened to him.
In 9th grade, I must have been quite an operator. On Valentine’s Day, I gave a box of chocolates and a card to each of three different girls. Was that my low mark or my high mark? I’m not sure that they ever compared notes, since they went to different schools. My dad thought I was over doing it. Asked if this worked out for him, Dan replied, “Yes, it did.”
Fred Elder, Madison, WI: For Valentines Day, I sent flowers to my valentine in
Iowa. On to a book I’ve enjoyed, especially since it was a gift from Gene Carter. Gene really liked it, so he thought I should like it, and I did. It’s intriguing. It’s The Book of Charlie, a short, true story about a man from Kansas City who lived to be 109. He was married a couple of times, not terribly successfully. It recounts many of his adventures growing up, then his career as a physician when a physician couldn’t do much except come to your bedside and hold your hand. Maybe a little more than that, or remove tonsils. It’s an intriguing story about how he kept enjoying life. The book opens when he is 107 and is washing the car of a girlfriend who had spent the night. Reading this book has kick-started me into getting back in to a book club I used to belong to. I hope I stay with it. (When a number of women on the call indicated that they had also received the book from Gene, Fred added, “I think the gals should write their perspective on this book.”
Back and Forth
As the Zoom host, Fred Elder called on individuals for other comments, stories, and current projects.
Mert: I am working on a quilt with an Underground Railroad theme. Each block on the quilt is a pattern that carried a message for slaves fleeing north. Once I am finished with the quilt, I will write a story about it for the website. I will be exhibiting the quilt and may use it for programs that tell about its background.
Marilyn: I once visited a big open market in Charleston, SC, where a
woman was selling quilts with Underground Railroad patterns. She sang a song for me describing the message that each quilt pattern carried for people on the road to freedom. Her 105 year-old mother was with her, sitting quietly and piecing quilts. I bought a quilt in the North Star pattern, a guidepost for passengers on the Underground Railroad.
Mert: This is a really interesting quilt project that I have been working on for some time. It’s about the Underground Railroad in a sampler form. Each block conveys a message to a person trying to get to Canada. Sometimes, I get so involved in the research that I lose track of the quilting.
Glenna: I remember being in New York at the first exhibit to 
recognize women’s quilts as art. I have since attended other exhibits of quilts as art. I especially remember the Gee’s Bend quilts made by Black women in a community in Alabama. The quilt-making process is amazing. I actually spent 18 years making a quilt, which was a collection of dirty clothes inspired by the way Joel and I used to collect dirty clothes on our bedspread. Over time, I stitched the laundry to a backing, including Joel’s socks. Once Joel tried to pull socks off that quilt-in-process, but I told him he would just have to buy a new pair. I sewed the last piece on when my youngest went to college.
In a text several days later, Glenna added some important details to this project. I laughed and thought what a stinky project my 18-year quilt would have been with dirty clothes. Joel and I washed and dried the dirty clothes and stored the clean, unfolded laundry on the bedspread. It took a long time to sew the clothes on, so I stretched it out until the last boy went off to college. I sewed laundry at a very relaxed pace. That quilt has been in art exhibitions in California, Texas, and New York. I still own it. I can guarantee you that the clothes were and are still clean. When I show the quilt, I often put my lace chocolate brown slip on a pillow to finish the look!
Rod: My grandmother quilted a lot. She made quilts for all of us and then for our children and grandchildren. Her quilts have now been passed along to all sixteen grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren.
Linda: I have been invited to participate in a project sponsored by 
the Eli Lilly Foundation. Its purpose is to fund twenty-two museums in the US and the theme is Character. This, of course, is dear to my heart, since I have been promoting character development in schools through special programs for years. I was proud to be asked to assist with the museum project in St. Louis. Some museums have chosen not to undertake this as the topic is too controversial. Basically, you create the exhibit for your community. Brad Metzler, a mystery author, has written a series of 20 books about heroes and their character values. The St. Louis program will be based on his books. I am surprised some museums are afraid to do this.
Lee: Right now, my trees are looking kind of dormant, but what did come to mind about two or three of the comments is a book my wife
Shelley bought by a guy named Howard Thurman who was a spiritual advisor to Martin Luther King, Jr. and a peer of King’s father. He’s an African-American theologian and has written several books. He was quoted on Facebook not long ago saying Christmas is when the work begins. So Shelley bought the book It’s a thin book and it’s written from the perspective of an African-American in the 1940’s. I have to admit it was a bit startling. We know something about racism and we know something about what happens when people are diminished and oppressed, but I hadn’t thought about what happened in the Christian church in the US for African-Americans. It’s brutal. It’s straight-forward and enlightening and what was kind of an unexpected dividend was that it was centered on Jesus Christ and his ministry. It was a reminder that that ministry was basically very positive and for this theologian very uplifting for African-Americans. But it was unlike what they were hearing at church. It was a very interesting book and I’ve posted a review on Facebook for those of you who use that. The name of the book is Jesus and the Disinherited. What’s going on today is sad because it has a lot to do with the rise of Donald Trump.
Linda: What are they hearing at church?
Lee: I was trying to avoid that question. They are hearing that slaves were and African-Americans are lesser beings. Basically, that dualism was present when the Constitution was written. We declared that all men are created equal, but then the Constitution treated slaves as a different kind of person. This continues now with some denominations in the church that are bigoted and demeaning toward minorities. That’s putting it bluntly.
Marilyn: Lee’s comments about this situation reminds me of an excellent movie I saw very recently, Rustin. The movie focuses on Bayard Rustin, the civil rights activist who organized the March on Washington where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave the now famous “I have a dream” speech. I had forgotten how sharply divided and competitive the Black Civil Rights groups were. The actor playing Bayard Rustin has been nominated for Best Actor in this year’s Academy Awards. This is a really engaging movie. Terrific acting.
Skip: Our classmates Bob Bascom and Alice Smith Bascom both attended Hillside Christian Church with me. They now live in Arizona a
nd want people to know that they are alive and well. We had dinner with them a couple of years ago and have stayed in touch. They don’t use computers and want people to know they are still around.
Linda: Bob Bascom’s dad bought my little turquoise and white Nash Rambler. I would come out from school and that car would be in a different place. Boys picked it up and carried it. Sometimes two wheels were in the air and two on the ground. It got moved so often that my dad got mad and sold it.
Skip: A long time ago, Bob Bascom was in the hospital in Scottsdale., and I went to visit him. I rented a car for a dollar at Dollar Car Rental, a VW bug with no AC in Phoenix. This was around the same time as you could rent a $6 room at Motel 6.
Dan: Linda, are you saying that people actually picked up your car and moved it? How could that have happened?
Linda: Yes, that is exactly what happened. You wouldn’t know who some of those boys were, would you?
Dan: (unintelligible mumbling)
Last Thoughts
Dan – College basketball! Great basketball games are on TV these days. Lots of upsets! KU has to get better.
Linda – We can do March Madness next month, and I’m the most non-sports person in the group. I look forward to these.
Marilyn – Remembering the olden days – I played basketball before Title IX and we played half-court. Guards played at one end, forwards at the other, and if your toe touched the center line, that was a foul. The high school was not allowed to field inter-scholastic girls teams, so I played church league basketball and softball.
Fred – If you enjoy women’s basketball, be sure you watch Iowa and Caitlin Clark. The best basketball ever!
Glenna – I loved the movie “Oppenheimer.” I’ve seen it once and I plan to see it again.
Lee – The vivid scene I remember in the book The Story of Charlie was when they hitched a ride on the cowcatcher at the front of a train.
Mert – St. John High School is a 1A division school and I think our girls may make it to state. They are really good and we have one girl who is 6″2″ and really terrific.
Diane – I wish we could all watch Caitlin. She is about to set a scoring record. Being post-Title IX, she has lots of records to break.
Skip – I spent a lot of time finding a picture from Redwood High School. A lot of famous people were students there and one was my son’s best friend. He was a little kid when I met him and he’s now 6’7″ and wears a size 18 shoe.
Rodney – I’m not much of a basketball person, but I do play golf, and I hope I can improve my score. Other than that, I hope you all have a wonderful year and I’ll talk to you later.
Linda – Goodbye
Reminder: Our next Zoom session will be March 21, 2024 at 2 p.m. Wichita time. We hope more of you will join us!
