June 20 Zoomers
First Row, left to right: Glenna Stearman Park, Fred Elder, Dan Tontz; Second Row: Diane Rusch Zinn, Marilyn Tompkins Bellert, Lee Ayres; Third Row: Skip Granger, Kay Ellen Consolver, Calvin Ross; Fourth Row: Janice Collins Bailey, not pictured; Missing: Ted Frieze
Fred announced that Tom Tatlock was in Japan visiting family and that Linda Soderberg McKay was recovering from knee replacement surgery. Otherwise, they would have joined the Zoom.
Fred welcomed Ted Frieze, who was zooming with us for the first time. Ted lives in Garland TX, where he has been for almost 60 years. He has retired from his home remodeling business and now does pretty much whatever he pleases unless his wife has other ideas. He and his wife will soon celebrate their 57th wedding anniversary.
Topic of the Day: Birthdays
Are birthdays a significant event in your life? Fred invited us to talk about memories of special birthdays and asked whether we were planning a party for our 100th.
Glenna Stearman Park, Montgomery Park, MD. My birthday
is August 13. There have been years when it fell on Friday the 13th. I don’t believe in magic (with apologies to Skip), so I don’t sweat it. Celebrating is not a big deal for me, but if someone brings me a carrot cake, I’m happy. I do plan to live to 100 and am currently working through my 20-year plan to get there.
Dan Tontz, Dallas, TX: My favorites were all surprise parties. The first one I’ll never forget. In high school in 1958, I was walking into the room and it was kind of a poker party. Somehow my friends discovered it was my birthday and when I got out of the car one of the guys said,”Dan here, hold this,” and we went to Gary Bateman’s basement and we played some poker. Someone walks in and takes the lid off the cake and says happy birthday to me. I couldn’t believe it. That was very clever. Nobody blew it; it was a complete surprise to me. Another was my 50th birthday. Again, it was a surprise; I had no clue. My out of town sister showed up unexpectedly with her husband and we had it at a nice fancy restaurant, Gershwin’s, where they had a piano lady rotating around in the bar area. Again, it was a well-kept secret. Number three was when I made an effort to surprise my wife. We had it at the clubhouse in the townhouse area where we lived. I had arranged for an Elvis impersonator to be there. He was also a stripper. Everyone else had a great time except one person – my wife. After that was all over, we came to an agreement – no more surprises. We hung on to that. That’s probably why I can’t remember anything more after that.
Ted Frieze, Garland, TX. Today is my birthday! June 20. My wife
will be taking me out for drinks. Yesterday, my daughter hosted a party for me at her house, and that was fun. My wife and I went to Choctaw for some gambling and came home a little ahead. I have a lot of good times with my wife. We keep busy and really enjoy ourselves.
We just started getting reacquainted with Ted and hope he will join us again.
Lee Ayres, Fresno, CA. 
The one I remember most was when I lived in New Jersey. I was ten years old and we went to see the movie “The Day the Earth Stood Still.” Several people in the neighborhood all went to see it. Fred asked what the treats were, but Lee did not recall. Today, however, I can always depend on Shelley to prepare a great meal. When in doubt, I love to have grilled salmon. (Lee later corrected this and said Shelley poaches the salmon. The recipe will be posted as another story.)
Skip Granger, Sun Lakes, AZ. I sent copies to many of you of the 
video that my son Trey made for my 80th birthday. That was a wonderful party. I have another coming up on June 30. Instead of birthdays, I choose to talk about my 50th wedding anniversary, which was last week. Many friends and family joined the celebration. I hosted a very special anniversary dinner at a place so expensive, I tried not to think about it. The server tried to upsell us on everything, and I said, “fine.” Everyone spent, spent, spent. I ate and drank everything in sight. When it was all over and time for the check, we learned that my best friend Russell Kemp was paying for dinner. Russ, who wasn’t able to join us, had requested, however, that I pay the tip in Euros. This was to remind me of a funny incident from long ago when we were on a trip to the Mediterranean.
Kay Ellen Consolver, Litchfield, CT. Obviously, we’ve celebrated many birthdays, in the past and in various places. What I’m doing now has to do with my husband John, whose birthday was March 16 and mine is March 11. We were married for thirty years. He has passed away, but we still celebrate our birthdays. Now, on his birthday, I take myself and his spirit, and go out for dinner. When I get there, I order champagne and request two glasses. I explain to the waiter why I want two glasses because I don’t want them to think I’m a crazy old lady. I have the waiter fill both glasses and then I toast John and me and drink both glasses and enjoy a nice dinner.
Marilyn Tompkins Bellert, Sycamore, IL. My best birthday 
ever was my 80th. That was a surprise party, but I knew where and when it would be. What I didn’t know was that all my kids and most of my grandkids would be there. I was really hoping to see my brothers from Overland Park, but didn’t expect them to make the trip to Chicago. They did, however, and they popped out to surprise me. It was a wonderful party. My mother was a birthday party impresario who planned elaborate parties for each of us every year. I was surprised recently to find East High classmates in the photo at left from the party for my 7th birthday. That’s me, second from right. For the past 50 years or so, three members of our family with August birthdays have celebrated the day with a family shindig. Some years, we have a three-layer cake and each of us gets to blow out candles on one of the layers. By now, we each get a couple of token candles so as not to burn the house down.
Diane Rusch Zinn, Lawrence, KS. 
I actually have some miscellaneous stories to tell. I must have had a deprived childhood because I remember almost no birthdays and no parties. The only one I remember was when I was nine and got a globe for my birthday. Also, my cousins gave me a Disney comic book subscription for a few years. But my 70th birthday was a good one. I was with all my family back East. My grandchildren had decorated a large ceramic serving plate with some art and their signatures. I also was given my first IPad. When I was seventy-five, my daughter Lauri had contacted many of my friends for remembrances about me. She wrote each on a small piece of paper and enclosed them in a jar with family pictures on the outside and a memory card from our daughter Rebecca who was deceased. Lauri’s husband Brion, who is a cartoonist, did a charcoal caricature of me with significant things in my life around the edge. Family-wise, we always had angel food cake, baked from scratch, a tradition from Dick’s family growing up. With our children, we always had the birthday child stand behind our piano bench with the cake on the bench and presents scattered around. We took pictures each year from their second to eighteenth birthdays. You could really see how they grew. They were all pretty tall by the time they reached 18. An interesting thing with Dick’s 80th birthday were the balloons we had – seven in all, one for each of our grandchildren, as they were not with us to celebrate; just our kids were with us. That was in 2021 and would you believe five of those balloons are still partially inflated. They weren’t even helium balloons; they’re just hanging from a shelf in our basement storage room. Even the party shop where we bought them can’t believe they still have air.
Calvin Ross, Johnson City, TN. The earliest birthday I can 
remember was when I went to Roosevelt. Brenda Benjamin had a party for me in her lower level family rec room. There was always a ping pong table set up in the room. There were six or eight kids at the party. They sat me on the sofa, blindfolded me, and took off my shoes. They told me to lift my feet, which I did. They slid something underneath my feet. I had to guess what it was, feeling it only with my sock feet. At first, it felt like a board that was 3 or 4 inches wide and maybe 1/2″ thick. I stretched my foot out and felt a curve in the end of the board. Then, I knew. It was a pair of skis. What a great present! I used those skis for 15 years in Colorado, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. The last time I wore them was on a run in a city park near our house in Pittsburgh. A woman came up behind me and said, “You are a good skier on those long old skis.” They were 7’3″ long. By then, skis were shorter. Mine looked as if they were straight out of Army surplus. I still have those skis. I been expecting to mount them, crossed, on a wall, but that hasn’t happened.
Janice Collins Bailey, Wichita, KS. 
When I was young, my mother always made sure she had a birthday cake from Dillon’s. It was a decorated angel food cake; at that time she didn’t know anyone who decorated cakes. We had the cake for dessert. Usually for a present, she would make me some clothes. That’s what I remember.
Exercising his memory cells, Dan recalled Janice’s family members’ names.
Note that we could not see Janice due to a technical problem, but she participated by audio. That’s the spirit!
Fred Elder, Madison, WI.
Like Glenna, I am a carrot cake fan. My turning point birthday was number 16. Then, I could drive! I had the idea that I was free. I can remember a similar feeling when I was driving north to KU to start college. Finally, I was on my own. Free. For my 80th birthday, both my sons and all my grandchildren came to Madison. We had dinner in a restaurant. It was a really good party.
Back and Forth
Kay Ellen. One of the things I did to celebrate my 50th birthday was very exciting. I was in New Zealand working for Mobil. I decided I would celebrate by going bungee jumping, so that’s what I did. I felt like a heroine. My only request as they tied the bungee around my feet (We were going down 100 feet into the water.) was not to get my hair wet. He complied.
Lee commented – The only question on my mind is Glenna’s comment that we should plan on living to 100. Actuarial tables indicate the average old age to be 92, but why not hang around another eight years?
Glenna agreed. My grandmother lived to 101. She had a perfectly clear mind and easy personality at that age. She survived quite a few heart attacks, as I have, so I think I’ve inherited that from her. Reaching 80 was a bit of a shock point to me because that’s when people start wondering if they are going to die from one thing or another. I recently saw the movie Youth, starring Michael Caine, Harvey Keitel, and Jane Fonda, all 70-somethings on holiday in Switzerland. It is partly about what goes through a person’s mind as they adjust to realizing the “end.” We all need to come to terms with the idea that each “ending” is actually a transition. We’ve probably got 10 good years, so we should get busy doing things and live!
Skip – I really enjoyed doing magic shows for kids’ birthday parties, sometimes in their homes or in a place like the Wichita Country Club. They had so much fun! My wife Mary Ann’s mother also lived to be over 100. When she turned 80, she was vice-president of a major bank in Kansas City and wrote a book. When she got older, in her late 90’s, she didn’t recognize us any more. I don’t think I want to hang around for the final hour.
Kay Ellen – My husband John could not recognize people at the end, but in his own way, he understood that he was loved. I want to recommend a book by Judith Viorst, Unexpectedly 80. It contains poems about experiences of our times.
Glenna – Magic shows reminds me of a favorite video of magicians at a zoo, doing magic tricks for gorillas and other great apes. Seeing the “ah ha” moment in the eyes of the apes is a thrill.
Diane asked who all would be interested in attending our 65th reunion if we do have it. Most agreed they would come; a few said maybe.
Glenna and Kay Ellen asked what was going on with Skip’s possible heart surgery. Skip responded that whatever comes next has not been scheduled. Calvin commented that he had learned from a cardio-thoracic surgeon that the heart is an extremely resilient organ. A good thing to know.
Glenna shared an update on Debbie Snyder’s condition after a serious fall she suffered. With her Parkinson’s, her body freezes without warning. Recently, she fell and broke a number of bones in her shoulder area. She is now staying with her daughter and being cared for.
Fred predicted that the next pandemic would be bird flu, but conceded that he might be influenced in his prediction by the fact that he lives in the land of dairy cattle. On that note, he encouraged us all to share birthday stories for the website.
The next Zoom session will be Thursday, July 18 at 2:00 p.m. Wichita time. We hope you will join us.
