Zoomers, October 17, 2024
First row, left to right: Marilyn Tompkins Bellert, Fred Elder, Dan Tontz, Diane Rusch Zinn; Second row, left to right: Glenna Stearman Park, Skip Granger, Perry Ann Porter, Lee Ayres; Third row, left to right: David Robinson, Linda Soderberg McKay, Kay Ellen Consolver
Announcements
Our 65th Class Reunion will be September 19-20, 2025, in Wichita. Save the Dates!
The next Zoom session for us will be January 16, 2025 at 2 p.m., Wichita time.
Today’s Topic: Staying Connected.
Experts say that our physical and mental health improves if we stay connected with family and friends. How do you stay connected? Face to face? Landline telephone? Digital communications such as cell phone, email, text, social media? Travel? We found out that our classmates use all of the above and more. The comments below are a summary, not a transcript. If yours needs to be edited, contact Diane at ddzinn@aol.com.
Dan Tontz, Dallas TX: I can’t remember when I didn’t have an I-phone and I-pad. That’s the way I stay in touch with people. I haven’t written a letter in years. I have birthday cards, sympathy cards, but I don’t use them anymore. How I stay in touch with family and everyone else is on e-mail. Often, those emails are with groups who share interests. I’ve been a Dallas Cowboy season ticket holder since about 1966 and early on I became acquainted with six other guys in nearby seats We would buy and trade all on email. One of the guys lived in Houston, so I rarely saw him except at the games. Emails were how we stayed in touch. The next thing was Texas Rangers baseball email group, and we all had season tickets. So we traveled together; we went to Arizona’s spring training together several years. We went skiing in New Mexico and down to the hill country in south Texas. Everything was done by email – all our travel plans. From there I went to a New York Yankee baseball small group. There were only four of us, but we listened, then talked about the games. That was the way I was socializing.
One of the best groups, and I miss this one, was the Funny Joke group. We had around six guys and they had great jokes. I’d get them, them pass them on to others. I complimented them on the really good jokes. Not all of them were X-rated either. All sorts of jokes, just amazing what could be done. Never did find out sources of the jokes. One of the participants is on this call with us today and he had some good ones. Nobody would tell anyone else where they got their jokes. I had no jokes; I was merely the distributor. That all disappeared with the pandemic. Everything just dried up. It seemed that everyone just stopped communicating with others. That was very disconcerting. I couldn’t believe it was happening.
I was a member of the American Institute of Wine and Food – the Dallas chapter with about 40 members. All the plans for getting together was done by email. We would sign up, pay, do everything online. When we got there, we would just see and enjoy everyone.
Same way with my family. Everyone except one family member texts, and she is my age. Her daughters live on texting and they can’t communicate with their mother. We’re in five different cities and there are six or seven of us and texting is the way we stay in touch. I use my phone about twice a month, once to answer a call from Skip and the other with my sister. She and I decide ahead of time by email when we are going to talk. Works out great, and those are the only times I use my phone for calling. I now prefer text to email, but I don’t know how to file texts and I have an elaborate filing system for email. My girlfriend’s son is an IT expert and is readily available, so he comes over quickly to take care of things for me. I try to pay him, but that doesn’t work.
Glenna Stearman Park, Montgomery Park, MD. When we moved to South Korea in 1995, the phone company called during the first month to tell me that I owed $800 for the initial two weeks. I had to find another way to
communicate. I wrote letters, but whenever possible I went to Joel’s office to use his computer for email. Back in the U.S. I communicated through cartoons, which I drew for Art World, one a week, and also sent to museums, friends, and family. Then I made fun of George W. Bush and his cohorts in cartoons for another four years. Those cartoons I sent all over the world. Now, I have 15 grandchildren, including some who married in. I have to make sure that I talk to everyone of the grandchildren at least once a month, so they don’t lose a grip on who I am and what I’m doing, and I don’t lose track of them. We do family birthdays on Zoom.
While I was living in Rhode Island for seven years taking care of my son’s seven kids, I talked to Joel every night, usually with a two-year old on my lap. She held her book up to the computer monitor, and Joel read her a story. It was good for her, good for him, and good for me.
Lee Ayres, Fresno, CA. When I was in the Army, (1967-69, ) assigned to serve in August GA. For a kid from KS, Georgia was a whole new world. I found myself typing letters to friends. Why? After grad school and internships, I worked in Wichita and slowly adapted to being in an office, working with a secretary. In that world, memos were the way yo
u communicated. I got used to producing those as part of my work. The memos felt productive, so I continued in the Army. My big breakthrough was discovering erasable bond. I was using a portable typewriter – before selectrics and newer typing devices. Being able to erase a mistake was a relief.
More recently, I have been talking on the phone once a month or more often with friends and family, once a week with my daughter. That’s been a good thing. I started the regular phone calls 10 years ago, when it became understood that men tended to isolate when they didn’t have an excuse to stay in touch. Glenna and I talk once a month. The monthly Zooms are great. It sure is nice when someone else does the work to set it up. Over the years, I realized that the label “Connector” would apply to me in world where I live. I value that role. In a business contact, relationship development is most important. Building relationships over time has value. Things change, just like health, just like weather, and just like being able to talk, as some of our classmates with Parkinson’s are learning. The friendships stay.
Perry Ann Porter, Poulsbo, WA.
I keep in touch with high school friends – Marty Bogle and Diane Quantrell, Heidi Billinger (now gone) — mainly by phone and email. I also keep up with my Peace Corps friends this way. When I was in the Peace Corps, I learned to send messages by Fax. Wow, it was fast! Today, I don’t own a cell phone. No smart phone, no texting. I don’t even know what that is. My landline phone does the job just fine.
Kay Ellen Consolver, Litchfield, CN
One of the things I love about Zoom is the way I can stays in touch with Glenna and Linda McKay, compared to coming out of the era when we 
used letters. Once I was in New York after law school, I lost track of everyone. There were a bunch of our classmates in New York City, but I didn’t know. David Kroenlein, for instance, worked right in the same building on the floor below mine for five years when I was at Mobil. Then I traveled internationally – but before cell phones. If you wanted to call from Africa, you had to make an appointment and start calling three weeks in advance. I was in Nigeria when my father had a stroke. It took two weeks to reach me. Communications now are much more possible than before. Before my mother died in the early 90’s, I always called when I got home from abroad. Now, I use Facetime and Zoom to talk with my family, who live all over the country. This year, I went to celebrate my sister’s birthday in California. It was a long time since we had spent time together, but I couldn’t remember how long. My sister pointed out that it had been 20 years. I have step-children from two marriages. They were mostly adults when I was married, so I’m more like an aunt than a step-mother. We are beginning to prefer spending time together. In fact, I am seeing friends more in person these days. My friendship groups have been my main family. Zooms are wonderful for staying in touch. With a wide network of friends, scattered all over, I really prefer modern ways to communicate.
David Robinson, Wichita, KS. Like Lee, I was also a guest of the US Army in Augusta GA. My family were big
letter-writers, and I was, too. I grew up writing lots of thank you notes, so writing letters was easy. In the military, amazing number of guys never wrote a letter and never got a letter. These days, I can’t remember the last time I wrote a letter. Now I use cell phones, email, and texts. With my best friends, texts. Sometimes we chat by text over a martini, or we gossip. We have fun talking this way. It’s another way to enjoy talking in person. I have really enjoyed spending time on our class Zooms! Reconnecting with you over Zoom has been a happy part of my life.
Skip Granger, Sun City, AZ
I use a lot of technology, partly because during 50 years of working in Venture capital, I financed companies that made early personal computers and cell phones. I have always liked using technology. Now, I make phone calls to a lot of people regularly. I call classmates from East, others who went to Southeast, and my classmates at KU. Recently, I managed to locate a friend that I had been missing. We talked a lot over five days and then she died. This was a painful loss, but I felt lucky to spend so much time with her over those five days. I also stay in touch through the online newsletter that I send to my fraternity brothers at KU They send a lot of feedback. It’s really important for me, staying in touch. More and more these days, I’m attending meetings and visiting with people on Zoom.
Linda Soderberg McKay, St. Louis, MO. For me, Zooms started right away during Covid. As I’ve mentioned
before, I also have 15 grandchildren. Their mothers probably made them do it, but during Covid, we had over 20 Zoom calls with all 15. It was a wonderful experience that I will always treasure. I got into using computers as part of my job. Happily, I had an assistant who wrote the letters and memos for me. When I moved to the U.S. Department of Education, however, no assistants. Nobody but the top executives had assistants. For me, this was a technology indoctrination by fire. Fortunately, we had 24 hour tech support. That was just as email was starting. Now, I use computers, Zoom, landline and cell phone. I’m still a card-sender. Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas. This year, I slowed down. Three years ago, I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. It is very mild, but it affects my left side and I am left-handed. I’ve learned to type mostly with my right hand and and typing faster with it these days. A young woman comes in periodically and writes letters for me. Our class is resilient. When A doesn’t work out, we go to B. I’ve done a lot of reading on the brain and have learned that staying connected is a key thing we are supposed to do. There is something resilient about people from Kansas.
Diane Rus
ch Zinn, Lawrence, KS. I use text, emails, phone, and Facetime. And I still write letters for occasions that seem too important for email. Annually, I send Christmas cards to people who are special to me. People used to tell me that I could always text my grandchildren, and they would respond immediately. That has not been true in my case, although two of my granddaughters are responsive. At least once a month, I try to Facetime with each of my seven grandkids. My children and I just talk on the phone, usually once or twice a week. We all get together several times a year, which is the very best way to stay close. Recently, I had a delightful experience when I received a letter from a ten-year old girl, telling me all about what she and her family were doing. They had lived in one of our rentals some years ago. Her letter really warmed my heart. Taking the time to write letters for special occasions is worth the effort!
Jane Thompson Olson could not join us today, but she emailed her response to the topic. “I’m able to keep in touch with my older son and family easily since we live nearby. We are at their house for dinner and game playing at least once a week. While there, we spend time talking to our grandchildren if they are around. Otherwise I keep in touch with the other kids by texting, email, phone calls and visiting in person.”
Marilyn Tompkins Bellert, Sycamore,IL. Staying in touch can be a challenge. We have close friends with whom we often travel who have devices and know how to email, use their apple watches, text, and operate an answering
machine, but they often don’t use any of them, not even checking phone messages. When I have to talk to them, I drive to their house and knock. They don’t hear well. No answer. I go around the house and knock on the back door. They are always gladj to see me.
I use email, text, phone, Facetime, and Zoom, and write letters maybe a couple of times a year. Like Skip, I edit several newsletters, a fun way to keep in touch. We travel a lot with old friends and new. Traveling with our kids and grandkids is especially enjoyable. I learn so much about them from those extended times together. Like Dan and David, I have had lots of fun texting while doing something with a group. Specifically, members of our family watch my grandson’s televised college soccer games and provide our own color commentary via shared texts.
Personal time together is the best. I really enjoy the groups of friends with whom I work on shared interests, cook and eat together, or take day trips. Zoom and Facetime are nice substitutes, since body language tells more about what people are feeling and thinking than you can detect on the phone. Glenna said something really important — if you don’t talk with grandchildren often, you lose track of who they are and vice-versa. I really, really enjoyed having a grandson going to college in my town. He always answered my texts, not being the kind to miss a free lunch. We all seem to agree – communication enriches our lives.
Fred Elder, Madison, WI. Fred was with us briefly, getting the Zoom going. Then he was off to a doctor’s appointment.
Last Words for Today
Glenna – Keep on talking.
Dan – A few more wins and the Yankees are going to be in the World Series!
Diane – Waiting for rain. It’s been over a month.
Skip – Rock Chalk
Perry Ann – Happy Halloween and Happy Thanksgiving
Lee – Looking forward to the election results
David – OK. I will step out of line. On my walk around the neighborhood, I spotted a hilarious comment at the top of a Harris/Walz yard sign: “I’m a Republican, but I’m not dumb.”
Linda – Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
Kay Ellen – Let’s keep on Zooming
Editor’s Note: At this point, Fred would have ended the Zoom session, which would release all the participants. Fred was gone, however. Marilyn did not know she had to do something to end the Zoom, so she blithely left the meeting. Following Kay Ellen’s last words, others kept on Zooming because they could not find a way to exit the meeting. One person was still on the Zoom site an hour later. Marilyn apologizes to one and all for the inconvenience and promises to go to Zoom School before our next session on Thursday, January 16 at 2:00 Wichita time.
