Glenna Stearman Park
Two memories of Christmas are first and strongest.
1. I always embraced the scent of pine trees. A large fresh green tree announced the season. We put the tree in water and set it up overnight so the scent could spread through our large old craftsman bungalow and influence our dreams. The pine reminded us of summer vacations in Colorado and the presence of holiday celebrations. It was difficult to sleep.
The next day my job was to select branches from our junipers with their small dusty blue berries. They were arranged around the white angel candles on the dining table. Our holly bush clippings with red berries were added to various flower arrangements. Finally the best locations for mistletoe, mainly the three doorways to the dining room, were identified and tested by my teasing big brother, Ronald! Finally, we had greenery draped along the fireplace mantel, finished with 6 stockings for the family.
2. The second major memory would come the next night with my father, brother, and older sister placing the candle-shaped bubble lights alongside a mass of red, green, blue, and yellow lights on the tree. They worked for a long time to have a balanced arrangement throughout. This is when my younger sister Guyna and I brought our pillows and blankets out to the living room floor and spent the evening enjoying the magic of sparkling lights through the branches. When we were totally intoxicated by the colored lights and the sounds of Christmas carols on the radio, Mom and Dad would bring out the hot chocolate, eggnog, and cookies. They would also open a very large box of chocolates. Then we all decorated the tree. And as we wore out, my older sister, Suzanne, placed the icicles, with great care and patience. In later years we dropped the icicles.
Of course my sister Guyna and I had been watching the closets, basement, and garage for any sign of change that might be concealing new toys. I uncovered a doll highchair that was for Guyna’s doll Snoozie. I discovered a doll carriage that became mine for our cat Puddy who I dressed in doll clothes and pushed up and down the street. We usually received good toys and ran wild with the neighbors trying out all the gifts.
As we grew up in Wichita, on Christmas Eve my parents encouraged us girls to dress up in cocktail dresses and enjoy a lobster dinner. Then later we listened to Christmas music and opened gifts. We often changed into the winter night gowns, slippers, and new robes as those became traditional Christmas Eve gifts. The evening ended with Christmas music and relaxing with the Christmas tree lights. The retelling of favorite family stories rounded out the evening. Mom and Dad had 8 and 7 siblings, giving us 36 first cousins. Some might be visiting with us as our grandmothers lived with us at various times.
Years Later
In student housing at UCSD, Joel built a planter that held a medium sized living tree, except it was elevated about 3 feet in a redwood box. We used it 5 years before we gave it to the University for planting on campus. Of course the tradition of lights and decorations continued.
In graduate student housing at UCSD, we did not have much money for Christmas, so I decided to make my boys a village for their Matchbox cars. I went to a cabinet shop in San Diego where they let me dig through their scrap box for architectural elements. At the same time I found photos of various European neighborhoods and started gluing several pieces together into my interpretation of the houses, churches, and public buildings. I sanded the structures and painted them with my acrylic paints. This project began nightly after 10 pm when my “night owls” were sound asleep. It took me many quiet hours to complete the project and I loved every minute of the work. A neighbor in student housing saw the project and wanted to do the same for her boys. We turned it into a nightly wine drinking artists’ workshop! All of our neighborhood boys had dozens of Matchbox cars! We painted a large board with streets and bought some model train trees.
In student housing we had neighbors who were Jews and celebrated Hanukkah. When it came to Christmas Eve and putting out gifts, our Jewish neighbors came over to see the display “from Santa” and lamented how hard it was for their son, Michael not to have Santa even though he had many toys. We gave them a glass of wine and explained that we had purchased a stack of toys for Michael from Santa and did not know how to approach the gift. We told them that our boys would have been upset if Santa ignored Michael, so we all agreed that Santa did not belong exclusively to Christians and the children all over the world celebrated him. Michael was delighted!
Remembering Michael reminded me that my mother would never allow us to Christmas shop without filling a box for “Essie’s kids” and shipping it first to their farm in Oklahoma. Essie and her husband were “dirt farmers” and “cotton pickers” related to my mother. We really did not know them, except, every year, her children were on our shopping list.
I have tried to teach my grandchildren about giving by having them choose from Heifer International what animal they wish to give to selected farmers and families around the world. My son said that the first year his children were very excited about making their choices. This year I am adding Ukraine and Gaza (Doctors without Borders) to their choices. We give the money, and they choose the charity.
A few years with one son’s family found me painting winter scenes on patio doors every season. (See photo at top of story)
Gifts are fun and certainly a part of Christmas, but when I remember the holidays from all these years, music certainly has a place. Pine scented live trees have a place. But more than anything the lights create the celebration. When we celebrate special holidays, we have lights. New Year’s Eve, Memorial Day, the 4th of July and other holidays have special lighting effects. However, Christmas lights are steady and traditional. When those lights come on in public and in our homes, the years come together in a bundle of memories where we understand magic.
Many of my memories come from the 1940’s. Today, many details have changed. The toys have evolved and the mirth and merriment has too. My oldest son is the single father of seven lively young people aged 15 to 33 and one great grandchild. They have developed a tradition that started with the wearing of Halloween costumes on Christmas Eve (Nightmare Before Christmas!) and then having a more traditional Christmas morning and a big mid-afternoon dinner. The family picture has gone through several evolutions, acknowledging a theatrical and comical streak among the children. Each year, a new theme. For instance, for Christmas 2020, the theme was “COVID hit everywhere!” and family members dressed in white lab coats and pointy-beaked Plague masks.
Ultimately, every family has a tradition that can be passed and rewritten as needed. And I will often remember when Joel and I spent two Christmases in South Korea. No turkey and dressing or pumpkin pie! We rounded up the US and Canadian English-as-a Second-Language teachers and had a big Tex-Mex dinner with tacos, enchiladas, and tortilla chips all from the Black Market, and lots of stories.
So Christmas lights, pine scent, carols, and family gatherings and old stories revived. Then, to many, the Biblical references and other religious traditions.
To all a Merry Christmas and to all a good night!
Glenna,
You’re writing imagery rivals your artistic flair. You’ve had an amazing evolution of Christmas across decades and continents. Encouraging kids to go with the broader flow of humanity so successfully is a real triumph. Thanks for letting us see your flair.